You make deposits with every positive behavior you employYou withdraw the account each time you deploy a negative action.
Relationship Bank
What happens when your account reaches zero?
Principles of Love and Logic
Three agreements:
Use enforceable limits
Provide choices within limits
Apply consequences with empathy
Using enforceable limits
Within the love and logic mindset the enforceable limits tellsstudents how you will be running your life.
“I’ll be ready to listen to you when your voice is calm likemine.”
“I will give full credit for papers turned in on time.”
“I listen to people who raise their hands. Thank you.”
From Garbage to Gold
Garbage Statements
Open your books to page 54.
I’m not going to start untileveryone is quiet.
Don’t distract your seat-mate
You can’t go to the restroomuntil I finish the directions.
Gold statements
I’ll be working from page 54.
I’ll be starting once it is quiet.
You’re welcome to stay inthe classroom as long asyou and others are notdistracted.
Feel free to go to therestroom when I am finishedwith directions.
Provide choices within limits
People have a strong need for control.
Share control Thinking
Thinking Learning
Learning affects future behavior
From sharing control tomaintaining self-concept.
Sharing control by offering choices:
“Would you like to clean your room before or afterdinner?”
“This area needs to be cleaned up. Will you becleaning it before lunch or during lunch?”
“This assignment needs to be finished this week.Would you like to have it due Thursday or Friday?”
Offering choices when there are nodifficulties helps to build the“savings account of control” fortimes when no choices are given.
Power struggles
If the teacher doesn’tplay along it isdifficult for thestudent to continue.
SELFCONCEPT
Other ways to improve self concept
Use eye contact and smiles
Allow kids to own their feelings
instead of “I am proud of you”
use “You can be proud of that”
Let students learn from theconsequences of their own behaviors
Apply consequences with empathy
Four steps you can follow:
State the problem
Identify whose problem it is
Show empathy
Offer a positive relationship message
Outside hurt versus Inside hurt
Difference between consequences and punishment iswhere the individual interprets the hurt. Punishments aredone to me. Consequences are a result of behavior.
Consequences
If possible, let students come up with theirown consequences.
Be prepared with a consequence in casetheirs are not appropriate.
Model the problem solving technique withthem.
Shared Thinking
Thinking state vs. emotional state
Every time you do something for thestudents that they can do for themselves,you are limiting them in the learningprocess.