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Objectives
Describe two general approaches for resolvingconflicts.
Explain why safety should be a person’s firstconcern in any conflict.
Section 7.4
Preventing Fights
List how to confront a person wisely.
Identify ways to help others avoid fighting.
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The higher your total score, the better your skills as apeacemaker. In which area would you most want to improve? Explain.
Quick Quiz For each statement, rate yourself on this scale.
When I am upset with someone, I talk to the person inprivate where we cannot be overheard.
When I am angry, I avoid using insults or name-calling.
I apologize when I do or say something hurtful.
I apologize when I do or say something hurtful.
I avoid spreading rumors.
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Once you recognize that a conflict exists, there aretwo general approaches you can take.
Choosing Not to Fight
•you can ignore the conflict
•you can confront the person
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•Some people think that ignoring a conflict is a sign ofcowardice.
Ignoring a Conflict
It is actually a sign of maturity and self-control.
Risk: could make other person more angry.
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•Deciding to ignore the conflict could make the otherperson angrier.
Be Flexible
•Be prepared to try a new tactic if ignoring the conflictcould make things worse.
•In deciding how to deal with any conflict, your safetyshould always be your first concern.
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•Learning to control your anger is an important skill tomaster if you want to avoid conflicts.
Learn to Control Your Anger
•If you are not satisfied with the way you now dealwith anger, many people can help you.
•parents
•teachers
•coaches
•school counselors
•members of the clergy
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To confront a person wisely, you need to
Confronting a Person Wisely
•choose the right time and place
•stay calm
•negotiate a solution
Risk: If others are around, they make want tofight to prevent embarrassment.
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•When you need to confront a person, pick a time whenyou can talk face-to-face.
Choose the Time and Place Carefully
•It is best to meet in a public area.
•If you suspect the other person is under the influence ofdrugs, postpone your discussion.
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•People have different techniques for keeping calmunder pressure.
Stay Calm
•Rehearse the confrontation beforehand.
•Use deep breathing or count to 20.
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•Communication style can affect the outcome.
Negotiate a Solution
•Do the Unexpected If, instead of being hostile, you are friendly,confident, and caring, the other person may relax his or her guard.
•Provide a Way Out Present the other person with compromisesolutions that you both can live with.
•Be Willing to Apologize Sometimes a sincere apology can be thequickest way to defuse the situation.
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You can help prevent fighting through
Helping Others to Avoid Fights
•mediation
•your role as a bystander
•involving an adult
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A process for resolving conflicts that involves a neutralthird party is called mediation.
Risk: Don’t mediate a confrontation that could turnviolent.
Mediation
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•As a bystander, you can use the following strategiesto show your disapproval of fighting as a way toresolve conflicts.
Your Role as a Bystander
Ignore those people who make negativeremarks about other people.
Refuse to spread rumors.
Do not relay a threat or insult from one person toanother.
Stay away from any area where you expect afight could take place.
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•If a friend reveals plans of violence to you, it isimportant to ask for help.
When to Involve an Adult
•It is never easy to break a friend’s confidence.
•Nevertheless, it is critical to share your friend’s plans forviolence with a trusted adult.
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Vocabulary
mediation
A process for resolving conflicts that involves aneutral third party.