True or False?
It is possible to listen without hearing.
It is possible to hear without listening.
Communication Climates inInterpersonal Relationships
Communication Climates inInterpersonal Relationships
The emotional tone of a relationship.
A communication climate isdetermined by the degree to whichpeople see themselves as valued.
Conflict & Mediation
The role ofdialogue and
conflict styles
10 reasons for poor listening
Effort – its hard to stay focused
Message overload – too much at once
Rapid thought – 600 wpm vs 140 wpm
Psychological noise – personal concerns
Physical noise – distractions (fatigue)
Hearing problems – frustration
Faulty Assumptions - “heard it all before”
Talking has more advantages = > who interruptsmore?
Cultural Differences
Media influences – MTV, sound bytes, radio, TV
LISTENING
What do good listeners look like?
Verbally
Nonverbally
Listening is not a natural process.
Listening requires effort (active not passive)
All listeners do not receive the samemessage.
We hear uniquely different messages
Physiological factors, social roles, culturalbackground, personal interests, and needs.
Listening Stages
Attending – paying attention. Mindfulness.
Understanding/Interpreting
Assigning meaning to messages
PRINCIPLE: The greater the similaritybetween individuals, the greater the likelihoodfor more accurate understanding.
PRINCIPLE: People understand best if theycan relate what they are hearing to somethingthey already know.
Listening Stages … continued
PRINCIPLE: You understand best that whichyou also experience.
Responding: Giving observable feedback tospeaker
Clarifying a message
Care about what the speaker says
Confirming understanding of a message
Nonverbal responses
Feedback – verbal responses
Remembering
FAULTY LISTENING
Yes you can go to theconcert, but I want youto call me when you getthere, and I want you totake out the trashbefore you go, and youneed to be home before11:00 p.m.
I don’t think youunderstand what I’msaying.
I heard you.
I heard you say that youwant me home by 11:00p.m.
I heard what you said.
Here we go again withthe trash!
Uh huh.
I heard exactly what
you said.
Four Personal Listening Styles
CONTENT ORIENTED: Focus on issues andarguments
PEOPLE ORIENTED: Focus on feelings andemotions
ACTION ORIENTED: Impatient and oftenfinish speakers’ thoughts – tend to secondguess
TIME ORIENTED: Prefer bulleted talkingpoints quickly and briefly.
LISTENING STRATEGIES
Informational
Critically
Emphatic
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Don’t argue or judge prematurely
Separate the message from thespeaker
Be opportunistic
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Look for key ideas
Ask questions
Sincere questions
Counterfeit questions
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Counterfeit questions
make statements
carry hidden agendas
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Counterfeit questions
seek “correct” answers
based on unchecked assumptions
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
INFORMATIONAL LISTENING
Paraphrase
Take notes
Don’t wait too long before beginning to jotdown ideas
Record only key ideas
Develop a note-taking format
CRITICAL LISTENING
CRITICAL LISTENING
Listen for information beforeevaluating
Evaluate the speaker’s credibility
Is the speaker competent?
Is the speaker impartial?
CRITICAL LISTENING
CRITICAL LISTENING
Examine speaker’s evidence
Examine emotional appeals
Is the evidence recent enough?
Is enough evidence presented?
CRITICAL LISTENING
CRITICAL LISTENING
Examine emotional appeals
Is the evidence from a reliablesource?
Can the evidence be interpreted inmore than one way?
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Advising
Be confident that the advice is correct
Ask yourself whether the personseeking your advice seems willing toaccept it
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Advising
Be certain that the receiver won’tblame you if the advice doesn’t workout
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Judging
The person with the problem should haverequested an evaluation from you
Your judgment is genuinely constructiveand not designed to be a put-down
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Analyzing
Offer your interpretation in a tentative wayrather than as absolute fact
Your analysis ought to have a reasonablechance of being correct
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Analyzing
You ought to be sure that the other personwill be receptive to your analysis
Be sure that your motive for offering ananalysis is truly to help the other person
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Questioning
Don’t ask questions just to satisfy your owncuriosity
Be sure your questions won’t confuse ordistract the person you’re trying to help
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Questioning
Don’t use questions to disguise yoursuggestions or criticisms
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Supporting
Make sure your expression of supportis sincere
Be sure the other person can acceptyour support
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Prompting
involves using silences and brief statementsof encouragement to draw others out, andin so doing, helping them solve their ownproblems
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Paraphrasing
Is the problem complex enough?
Do you have the necessary time andconcern?
Are you genuinely interested in helping theother person?
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Paraphrasing
Can you withhold judgment?
Is your paraphrasing in proportion toother responses?
EMPATHIC LISTENING
EMPATHIC LISTENING
When and How to Help
Think about the situation
Think about the other person
Think about yourself
about
seeking first tounderstand
It’s really