The Listening Process
•We have two ears and one mouth so that we canlisten twice as much as we speak. ~ Epictetus
•Of the time spent communicating each day, 45% is devoted tolistening.
•Usually a person only remembers about 50% of what is said tothem.
•After eight hours they forget another 1/2 to 1/3 of what wasoriginally grasped.
So that means you typically forget about 75% of what you hear.
Why is listening important?
Listening will help you in…
•School
•Relationships
•Social groups & organizations
•Making informed decisions
•On the job
FACT or FICTION??
Listening and hearing are the same thing.
Hearing is the first step, but that doesn’t meanyou understand what you hear.
Listening is easy.
Listening is a complex process that requiresenergy, effort, and skills.
The speaker is primarily responsible for the message sent.
Speaker and listener share the responsibility. Alistener may have to make up for a sender’s lackof ability.
Hearing
Choosing
Understanding
Responding
The reception ofsound.
The act of choosingto focus attention onthe message.
Deciding what themessage means toyou.
Your reaction to themessage. It can beemotional andintellectual.
Steps in the listening processSteps in the listening process
Definition of listening:
It is a physical and psychologicalprocess that involves choosing tolisten, understanding, and respondingto symbolic messages from others.
Your knowledge, attitudes,values, beliefs and self-concept influences yourperception.
You first respondemotionally, thenintellectually. Then youdecide how to respond.
Your own needs, interests,attitudes, and knowledgeaffects your choice to payattention.
Not everyone hears thesame way. Men actuallyprefer certain frequencies.
Noise – Internal and external distractions
◦Examples: outside sounds, distracting thoughts
Barriers – Blocks listening/understanding.
◦Unfamiliar language, anger, attitudes, biases, needs, beliefs, fear, hearingproblems, tuning out, stress, ignorance, prejudices, tired.
Memory – 3 types
◦Immediate – Recalling information for a brief period of time.
◦Short term – Recalling information for carrying out a routine or daily task.
◦Long term – Recalling information from past experience.
The average person speaks at a rate of about 150 words per minute.
Listeners, however, can understand messages presented at a rate of380 words per minute.
Often that “lag” time causes listeners to let their minds wander.
You have to learn to focus your attention on the message.
Active listener – The listener participates fully in thecommunication process. You listen attentively, providefeedback, and strive to understand and remembermessages.
Passive listener – The listener does not activelyparticipate in interactions. They think they can absorbinformation even when they do not contribute to theinteraction. They place the responsibility for successfulcommunication on the speaker.
Impatient listener – Short bursts of active listening areinterrupted by noise and other distractions. They intendto pay attention, but allow their minds to wander.
Apply what you hear to yourself.
◦Relate the information to your personal experience.
◦Use your own knowledge to understand new information.
◦Imagine using the information in the future.
Think as you listen
◦Summarize and review throughout a presentation.
Use associations
◦Picture things in your mind – “see it”
◦Use mnemonic devices – rhyme, acronym, etc.
Take notes
◦Do not write every word – paraphrase; focus on key phrases.
◦Use the same method for taking notes.
Give feedback
◦Show others you are listening with body language and eye contact and askquestions.
Kinds of Listening
Listening to understand, participate andenhance a relationship.
Usually used in interactions between twopeople or a small group.
Goal is to develop understanding and appreciation of themeanings & feelings of sender.
You try to put yourself in another person’splace, but not necessarily agree with them.
Empathic
Critical
Deliberative
Appreciative
Listening to understand, analyze, andevaluate messages.
Used when receiving and evaluatingpersuasive messages.
It should make you think.
Listening to comprehend ideas and information in order toachieve a specific purpose or goal.
Use when you must make decisions.
Used when listening to lectures inclass.
Used when listening to announcements orgetting directions.
Used when you need to remember somethingimportant.
Listening to enjoy or appreciate a speaker’smessage or performance.
Goal is enjoyment and helps a person torelax.
Used in social situations like concerts,plays or sporting events.
Listening for fun.
1. Tuning out dull topics.
◦Many listeners decide early on that a topic is simply not interesting.However, it has been said that there are no uninteresting subjects, onlyuninterested people. Don’t be a lazy listener!
◦Remedy – Listen for something you want or need. You can alwaysfind something of value in what another person is saying.
2. Faking attention.
◦It’s no sin to be courteous, but sometimes we take manners to anunfortunate extreme. When we find someone’s conversation boring, butare too polite (or afraid) to risk offending the person, we pretend to payattention, though our minds are a thousand miles away.
◦Remedy – Sincerely pay attention. Lean forward, maintain good eyecontact, react in a natural way with smiles or nods, ask questions.Good listening is not passive – it takes energy to listen!
3. Yielding to distractions.
◦Outside noises or movements often affect our concentration. A windowdrops shut, someone sneezes, a book falls to the floor. All too often, wegive our attention to the hubbub of activity around us instead of the speakerin front of us.
◦Remedy – Choose a suitable environment to have conversations.Learn to ignore the distractions and don’t become a distraction.
4. Criticizing delivery or physical appearance.
◦Many people abandon their good listening habits when they become overlycritical of the speaker’s physical appearance or delivery. Regardless ofwho the speaker is, the content of his/her message is always far moreimportant than the form of his/her delivery.
◦Remedy – Pay attention to what is said, not how. Be generousenough to overlook difficulties the speaker is having.
5. Jumping to conclusions.
◦Be patient. We often think that we know what a person is going to saybefore they have even finished speaking. Occasionally, we are biasedtoward a speaker and so we close our minds to the speaker’s messagebefore we have heard it in its entirety.
◦Remedy – Don’t judge before you have heard the whole message.Hear the speaker out. Understand their point of view fully beforeaccepting or rejecting it.
6. Interrupting.
◦Do you spend most of your listening time actually listening or do you spendit thinking about what you want to say? Interrupting someone is an almostcertain sign that you don’t know or care about what the other person issaying.
◦ Remedy – Take time to think about what is being said beforeresponding. Wait for an opening. Put yourself in their shoes.
7. Overreacting to emotional words.
◦We will react from time to time to certain words or phrases that push our“hot buttons.” At such times, we might experience a strong emotionalreaction that blocks out your ability to listen. We might let our thoughtswander on to other subjects, blocking the speaker’s message from ourminds, or we might start to lay plans to trap the speaker in some way.
◦ Remedy – Stay calm. Finish listening. Don’t let a mere symbol forsomething stand between you and learning. Think beforeresponding.