Listening Effectively
Module 1, Lesson 3
Communication for Life
What is Listening?
uListening is more than hearing.Listening means:
uPaying attention to thesounds you hear
uAssigning them meaning
uChoosing a response
uListening is NOT passive:
uRequires focus, interpretation
uResults in increased heartrate, respiration, and bodytemperature
uListening in NOT natural.
uMust be learned, just like reading &writing
Is Listening Important?
uAn essential part of ourrelationships withothers, both at work andoutside of work
Listening…
uBuilds connections
uWhen we are listened to, wefeel connected to others.
uWhen we are not listenedto, we feel devalued andneglected.
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uBuilds High-Performance Teams
uWhen we listen, we learn
uUnderstanding another personhelps them and you
uListening makes you able to letgo of old resentments
uListening transforms anargument into a dialogue.
uBuilds EffectiveCommunication
u80% of people who lose theirjobs do so because of aninability to communicateeffectively.
uListening is the KEY PART ofcommunication.
uImproves Relationships
uImproves job performance
uMakes happier marriages
uBetter one-on-onerelationships
Why is listening hard to do?
uListening takes effort.
uEffective listeningrequires some of thesame physical changesas the body’s reaction tophysical effort
uListening lacks the “pay off” oftalking.
uListeners have to give upcenter stage.
uListeners can’t show offtheir wit and knowledge.
uDaydream dangers
uWe can understand 300 wpm
uAverage speech rate 120 wpm
uDifference is spare time totake mental side trips
uMessage overload
uWe are bombarded withcompeting messages.
uConstant stimulation –television, radio, music, ads,kids’, parents’, friends’conversations….
uOur response…TUNE OUT!!
uPreparing a response.
uInstead of listening, weprepare what we’re going tosay when it is our turn.
uNeeds and wants
uOur needs determine whetheror not we choose to listen.
uSometimes we’re too wrappedup in our own thoughts to payattention to others’ messages.
uFilters
uWe use filters to decide whatto pay attention to.
uFilters attach personalmeaning to information
uWe filter out messages basedon whether or not we agreewith them.
Examples of Filters
uKnowledge
uAttitudes
uValues
uExperiences
uAssumptions
•Beliefs
•Prejudices
•Feelings
•Expectations
•“Hot buttons”
Examples of “Hot Buttons”
u“You never/always…”
uKnow it alls
u“Shut up”
uBigots
u“What you should do is…”
uPushy people
uPeople who interrupt
uWhiners
10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons
uTake deep breaths.
uMake a conscious choice aboutyour response.
uAcknowledge the other person’sfeelings.
uAsk objective questions forclarification.
10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons
uTry to see the other person’s pointof view.
uStick to the subject.
uBe patient.
uExpress your point of view.
uExplain why
uWork out a “win-win” plan.
13 Listening Tricks forSuccess
Concentrate on themessage rather thanthe speaker.
Listen with apurpose.
Daydream selectively.
Take notes.
Ask questions.
1) Mentally first – wait to see ifthey’re answered
2) Aloud at the end
Sit in the rightplace for you.
Start listeningimmediately.
Identify key points;listen for cues.
Pay attention toeverything:
Tone of voice
Body language
Read meanings behindwords
Think about themessage. Paraphrase itin your feedback tocheck yourunderstanding.
Be open to newideas.
Don’t jump toconclusions.
Know your ownlistening habits.
Ask open-endedquestions
Recognize commonpatterns oforganization…
Common Patterns ofOrganizing Information
uChronological order -first, next, then,finally...
uOrder of importance-order of priority,most important...
uComparison andContrast - similar,like; different, incontrast...
uCause and effect -because, so that,therefore...
Why Listen???
90%
of
success
in
communication
in
the
workplace
and
in
life
in
general
is
a
direct
result
of
GOOD
LISTENING
SKILLS!