How do we Listen?
When we listen, we are hearing everythingaround us, either through sound waves or sight.
Hearing is just a part of listening; to truly listenyou need to receive, understand and respond.
To accomplish this, one needs to be Mindful.
When we fully listen, we are being mindful, taking intoaccount everything the speaker is saying and ignoringeverything irrelevant.
This is difficult for many people, as we can comprehend upto 300 words per minute, with most speakers only talking ata rate of 100 words per minute.
This leads to our minds wandering during a conversation andpossibly missing key elements.
While being mindful, we are able to not only have a more in-depth understanding of the speaker’s emotions andthoughts, it encourages the speaker to continuecommunicating.
When physically listening, we understandcommunication through sight, such as seeing nonverbalcommunication, lip-reading or sign language.
This is mostly used for those who are hearing impairedand rely on physical communication like sign languageand lip-reading.
When stressed, tired or otherwise mentally fatigued, ourability to physically listen and communicate isdiminished. This also happens when multipleconversations or distractions are happening in our fieldof vision and/or sound.
Naturally, we don’t absorb all information around us at one time; wecycle through and pick what most interests us. Once againmindfulness comes into play.
To organize our thoughts we use Cognitive Schemata, meaning weuse our personal constructs and scripts and so forth to determinewhat we find important.
Interpretation is the fourth aspect of listening.
When we interpret, we put together all the informationwe have gathered thus far and develop an opinion.
To make it effective, try to understand other’sviewpoints.
Responding is crucial to listening, as it shows thespeaker you have interest and possibly an opinionof the topic.
One can respond through various physicalmethods as well, either by nodding a head, sittingup straight, or more negatively frowning andlooking away.
Remembering is thought of as the final aspect ofcommunication, as it determines how much onewas truly listening and interpreting theconversation.
Critical listening
-Judging the information we receive
-Make sure the information is credible
Ex: A class lecture helps you listen toinformation critically. Engaging inthe presentation helps with effectivelistening.
Be mindful
-Don’t allow your mind to wander when trying to listen and thinkcritically about a subject.
Control Obstacles
-Block out any distractions that stop you from listening.
Ask questions
-engage with the communicator to try to get a betterunderstanding. You may have listened but was unable tocomprehend.
Use memory aids to recall
-Relating situations to terms you’ve heard so thatyou are able to recall them later.
Organize Information
-organize information so that you are able toretain that information.
Steps to listening Critically
-engaging in relationship listening withanyone
-feelings and relationships betweenpeople
Be mindful
-Listening to give support to the personthat may not be communicated throughwords.
Suspend judgment
-It’s best to just listen and respondwithout judging because the person mayfeel that they can’t be open with you.
Understand the other’s Perspective
-Putting aside our feelings to understandwhere someone else is coming from.
Express support
-Supporting someone even though youmay not agree with everything they’resaying
Minimal encouragers
- responses that encourage others tocontinue and lets them know that you arelistening.
Ex: “Really?” , “I see” “Go on”
Paraphrasing
-reflecting our interpretation of whatsomeone says back to them
Ex: “ With all the news on teenagers anddrugs, I wonder if my brother does drugs.”Paraphrase to understand: “It sounds asif you suspect your brother is doingdrugs.”
Situational
-Are in communication context
Internal
-Are within communicators
Incomprehensibility
-message is not clearly understood
Message overload
-message may have to much to process
Message complexity
-message is to complex
Television
Music
People talking
Phones
Preoccupation
-too absorbed in your own thoughts to focus onwhat someone else is saying
Prejudgment
-judging others ideas before we’ve heard them
Pseudolistening
- Pretending to listen
Monopolizing
-Keeping focus on your self instead of the persontalking
Ambushing
-Gather info only to use it to attack the speaker
Selective Listening
- focusing on particular parts of communication
Defensive Listening
-when someone perceives something as apersonal attack when it is not intended to be.
1. What are one of the requirements for relationshiplistening?
2. Focusing on a particular part of communication isconsidered ___________ listening.
3. To truly listen you need to receive, understand and_________.
PLEASE NOTE:
Chapter summarized from information found in:
Wood, Julia T. (2014). Communication Mosaics: AnIntroduction to the Field of Communication. 7thEdition. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.
These student lecture notes provide a brief summaryof Wood’s discussion on verbal communication(chapter 4) while providing additional commentaryand examples. The information in this slideshow isbased on the work (content and organization) of Wood(2014).