Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”
(Covey, 1997)
Listening is not a communicationaction, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits
everything from family life to business.
Survey of personnel managers:
Listening is most critical skill for workingeffectively in teams.
Group members view people who listenwell as good leaders.
Introduction and Overview
What listening IS NOT:
Hearing vs. Listening
Faulty listening behaviors
Reasons for poor listening
What listening IS:
Stages of successful listening
Pages 113, 114
Personal listening styles
Pages 123, 124
Informational listening
Pages 124 - 131
What Listening IS NOT
Hearing vs. Listening:
Hearing:
“Sounds waves strike the ear drum and causevibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless
Listening:
“The brain gives the sounds meaning.”
Unnatural, requires effort
Faulty listening behaviors
1.Pseudo listening:
1.Imitation or fake listening.
2.Pretending to listen.
2.Selective listening:
1.Responding only to the parts of aspeakers remarks that interest thereceiver and rejecting everything else.
3.Defensive listening:
1.Taking innocent comments as personalattacks.
Faulty Listening, cont.
Ambushing:
Using listening skills to collect informationto use for an attack on the speaker.
Insulated listening:
Avoiding a particular topic.
Insensitive listening:
Unable to look beyond words for othermeanings.
Faulty listening, cont.
Stage Hogging:
Attempting to turn the conversation tooneself.
Reasons for Poor Listening
Requires Effort: listening is hard; it isnot natural
Message overload
Rapid thought
Psychological noise
Physical noise
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
Hearing problems
Faulty assumptions
Cultural differences
Media
What Listening IS:Listening Defined
Listening: Occurs when the brain givesthe sound transmitted meaning.
Listening is not like breathing
It is unnatural
It requires effort
What Listening IS:Stages of Successful Listening
1.1. Attending:
1.Paying attention to a signal
2.2. Understanding:
1.Process of making sense of a message
3.3. Responding:
1.Giving observable feedback to the speaker
2.Shows you care - verbal and nonverbal
4.4. Remembering
1.Residual Message: What is remembered
2.Only 25% of original message after two months
Personal Listening Styles
Content-Oriented:
Interested in the quality of the message.
This style is useful when looking at a widerange of perspectives and options.
People-oriented:
Concerned with creating and maintainingpositive relationships
Personal Listening Styles, cont.
Action-Oriented:
Concerned with the task at hand.
Useful for business needs.
Time-oriented:
Most concerned with efficiency.
Informational Listening
Informational listening:
Used when one wants to understandanother person.
The goal is to receive the same thoughtsthat the other person is trying to convey.
Informational Listening, cont.
1.Don’t Argue or Judge Prematurely
1.Listen to the other person first
2.Try to understand his/her viewpoint
3.Evaluate
4.Argue or agree
Informational Listening, cont.
Separate the message from thespeaker
“Don’t kill the messenger”
There may be truth in the message evenfrom an undesirable messenger.
Informational Listening, cont.
Be open to finding a gold nugget
Look for the big ideas and main points
Ask questions
Open ended - Require an explanation
Closed - “Yes” or “No”
Paraphrase:
Restate in your own words what you believethat the speaker said.
Take notes
Critical Listening
Judging the quality of a message anddeciding to accept or reject it.
1. Listen for information first
2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source
3. Examine evidence and reasoning
4. Remove emotion
Empathetic Listening
Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)
Ignoring
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Attentive listening
Empathic listening:
The first step to understand someone
Empathetic Listening
The goal is to build a relationship orhelp solve a problem.
This style of listening has the mostrespect for the other’s point of view.
Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening:
1. Advising:
Offering suggestions
2. Judging:
Looking for constructive judgments
3. Analyzing:
Interpreting the speaker’s message
Empathic Listening, cont.
4. Questioning:
Helps sort out problems
5. Supporting responses
6. Prompting:
The goal is to help the speaker drawconclusions for him/herself
7. Paraphrasing:
Restating in your words what you think isthe speaker’s message.
Helping - When and How
Choose the best helping style based on:
Situation based on what the person needs:
Advice
Encouragement and support
Your analysis or judgment
Probing questions and paraphrasing to helphim/her find own answers
Helping - When and How
Choose the best helping style based on:
The other person’s most likely reaction toyour help. Some people:
Appreciate direct advice
Want you to make the decision for them
Are defensive and aren’t capable of receivinganalysis or judgments. They lash out and wantto “kill the messenger.”
Can’t think through the problems clearly evenwith the use of probing and paraphrasing.
Summary
Identify and refute myths about listening
Conclusion: Effective listening is a necessaryskill to be successful
Five Step Process
1. Hearing
2. Attending
3. Understanding
4. Responding
5. Remembering
Summary continued
Ineffective types of listening
Pseudo
Selective
Defensive
Ambushing
Insulated
Insensitive
Stage Hogging
Summary continued
Challenges that make effective listeningdifficult
Effort
Message (Information) Overload
Rapid Thought
Psychological Noise
Physical Noise
Hearing Problems
Summary continued
Challenges that make effective listeningdifficult
Wanting to talk more than to listen
Cultural differences
Media influences
Summary continued
Personal Listening Styles
Content-Oriented
Evaluate the quality of ideas
People-Oriented
Creating and maintaining positive relationships
Action-Oriented
Want to decide what response is required by amessage
Time-Oriented
Efficiency, Meeting deadlines
Summary continued
Three types of listening
1. Informational
Goal: Understand another person’s ideas
Use active listening P & P
2. Critical
Goal: Judge the quality of an idea
3. Empathic
Goal: Help the speaker, not the receiver