We have two ears and one mouth so that we canlisten twice as much as we speak. ~ Epictetus
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•Of the time spent communicating each day, 45% is devoted tolistening.
•Usually a person only remembers about 50% of what is said tothem.
•After eight hours they forget another 1/2 to 1/3 of what wasoriginally grasped.
So that means you typically forget about 75% ofwhat you hear.
?
Why is listening important?
Listening will help you in…
•School
•Relationships
•Social groups & organizations
•Making informed decisions
•On the job
FACT or FICTION??
Listening and hearing are the same thing.
Hearing is the first step but doesn’t mean youunderstand what you hear.
Listening is easy.
Listening is a complex process that requires energy,effort, and skills.
The speaker is primarily responsible for the message sent.
Speaker and listener share the responsibility. Alistener may have to make up for a sender’s lack ofability.
Hearing
Choosing
Understanding
Responding
The reception ofsound.
The act ofchoosing to focusattention on themessage.
Deciding what themessage means toyou.
Your reaction tothe message. Itcan be emotionaland intellectual.
Steps in the listening processSteps in the listening process
Definition of listening:
It is a physical and psychologicalprocess that involves choosing to listen,understanding, and responding tosymbolic messages from others.
Your knowledge,attitudes, values,beliefs and self-conceptinfluences yourperception.
You first respondemotionally, thenintellectually. Then youdecide how to respond.
Your own needs,interests, attitudes, andknowledge affects yourchoice to pay attention.
Not everyone hears thesame way. Menactually prefer certainfrequencies.
Noise – Internal and external distractions
◦Examples: outside sounds, distracting thoughts
Barriers – Blocks listening/understanding.
◦Unfamiliar language, anger, attitudes, biases, needs,beliefs, fear, hearing problems, tuning out, stress,ignorance, prejudices, tired.
Memory – 3 types
◦Immediate – Recalling information for a brief period oftime.
◦Short term – Recalling information for carrying out a routineor daily task.
◦Long term – Recalling information from past experience.
The average person speaks at a rate of about150 words per minute.
Listeners, however, can understand messagespresented at a rate of 380 words per minute.
Often that “lag” time causes listeners to lettheir minds wander.
You have to learn to focus your attention onthe message.
Active listener – The listener participates fully inthe communication process. You listen attentively,provide feedback, and strive to understand andremember messages.
Passive listener – The listener does not activelyparticipate in interactions. They think they canabsorb information even when they do notcontribute to the interaction. They place theresponsibility for successful communication on thespeaker.
Impatient listener – Short bursts of active listeningare interrupted by noise and other distractions.They intend to pay attention, but allow their mindsto wander.
Apply what you hear to yourself.
◦Relate the information to your personal experience.
◦Use your own knowledge to understand new information.
◦Imagine using the information in the future.
Think as you listen
◦Summarize and review throughout a presentation.
Use associations
◦Picture things in your mind – “see it”
◦Use mnemonic devices – rhyme, acronym, etc.
Take notes
◦Do not write every word – paraphrase; focus on key phrases.
◦Use the same method for taking notes.
Give feedback
◦Show others you are listening with body language and eyecontact and ask questions.
Kinds of Listening
Listening to understand, participateand enhance a relationship.
Usually used in interactions betweentwo people or a small group.
Goal is to develop understanding and appreciationof the meanings & feelings of sender.
You try to put yourself in anotherperson’s place, but not necessarilyagree with them.
Empathic
Critical
Deliberative
Appreciative
Listening to understand, analyze, andevaluate messages.
Used when receiving and evaluatingpersuasive messages.
It should make you think.
Listening to comprehend ideas and information in orderto achieve a specific purpose or goal.
Use when you must make decisions.
Used when listening tolectures in class.
Used when listening toannouncements or getting directions.
Used when you need to remembersomething important.
Listening to enjoy or appreciate aspeaker’s message or performance.
Goal is enjoyment and helps a personto relax.
Used in social situations like concerts,plays or sporting events.
Listening for fun.
1. Tuning out dull topics.
◦Many listeners decide early on that a topic is simply not interesting.However, it has been said that there are no uninteresting subjects,only uninterested people. Don’t be a lazy listener!
◦Remedy – Listen for something you want or need. You can alwaysfind something of value in what another person is saying.
2. Faking attention.
◦It’s no sin to be courteous, but sometimes we take manners to anunfortunate extreme. When we find someone’s conversationboring, but are too polite (or afraid) to risk offending the person,we pretend to pay attention, though our minds are a thousandmiles away.
◦Remedy – Sincerely pay attention. Lean forward, maintain good eyecontact, react in a natural way with smiles or nods, ask questions.Good listening is not passive – it takes energy to listen!
3. Yielding to distractions.
◦Outside noises or movements often affect our concentration. Awindow drops shut, someone sneezes, a book falls to the floor. Alltoo often, we give our attention to the hubbub of activity around usinstead of the speaker in front of us.
◦Remedy – Choose a suitable environment to have conversations.Learn to ignore the distractions and don’t become a distraction.
4. Criticizing delivery or physical appearance.
◦Many people abandon their good listening habits when theybecome overly critical of the speaker’s physical appearance ordelivery. Regardless of who the speaker is, the content of his/hermessage is always far more important than the form of his/herdelivery.
◦Remedy – Pay attention to what is said, not how. Be generousenough to overlook difficulties the speaker is having.
5. Jumping to conclusions.
◦Be patient. We often think that we know what a person is going tosay before they have even finished speaking. Occasionally, we arebiased toward a speaker and so we close our minds to thespeaker’s message before we have heard it in its entirety.
◦Remedy – Don’t judge before you have heard the whole message.Hear the speaker out. Understand their point of view fully beforeaccepting or rejecting it.
6. Interrupting.
◦Do you spend most of your listening time actually listening or doyou spend it thinking about what you want to say? Interruptingsomeone is an almost certain sign that you don’t know or careabout what the other person is saying.
◦ Remedy – Take time to think about what is being said beforeresponding. Wait for an opening. Put yourself in their shoes.
7. Overreacting to emotional words.
◦We will react from time to time to certain words or phrases thatpush our “hot buttons.” At such times, we might experience astrong emotional reaction that blocks out your ability to listen. Wemight let our thoughts wander on to other subjects, blocking thespeaker’s message from our minds, or we might start to lay plansto trap the speaker in some way.
◦ Remedy – Stay calm. Finish listening. Don’t let a mere symbol forsomething stand between you and learning. Think beforeresponding.