Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”
(Covey, 1997)
Listening is not a communicationaction, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits
everything from family life to business.
Introduction and Overview
What listening is not:
Hearing vs. listening
Faulty listening behaviors
Reasons for poor listening
Introduction and Overview
What listening is:
Stages of successful listening
Personal listening styles
Situational listening
What listening is not
Hearing vs. Listening:
Hearing: “Sounds waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that aretransmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless
Listening: “The brain gives the soundsmeaning.”
Unnatural, requires effort
Faulty listening behaviors
1.Pseudo listening: imitation, or fakelistening. Pretending to listen.
2.Selective listening: responding only tothe parts of a speakers remarks thatinterest the receiver and rejectingeverything else.
3.Defensive listening: taking innocentcomments as personal attacks.
Faulty Listening, cont.
4. Ambushing: using listening skills tocollect information to use for an attackon the speaker.
5. Insulated listening: avoiding aparticular topic.
6. Insensitive listening: unable to lookbeyond words for other meanings.
Faulty listening, cont.
7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn theconversation to oneself.
Reasons for Poor Listening
Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural
Message overload
Rapid thought
Psychological noise
Physical noise
Hearing problems
Faulty assumptions
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
Cultural differences
Media
What Listening is:Listening Defined
Listening: Occurs when the brain givesthe sound transmitted meaning.
Listening is not like breathing. It isunnatural and requires effort.
What listening is: Stages ofSuccessful Listening
1.Attending: paying attention to a signal
2.Understanding: making sense of amessage
3.Responding: giving observablefeedback to the speaker
4.Remembering
1.Residual Message: what is remembered
Personal Listening Styles
Content-Oriented: interested in thequality of the message. This style isuseful when looking at a wide range ofperspectives and options.
People-oriented: concerned withcreating and maintaining positiverelationships
Personal Listening Styles, cont.
Action-Oriented: concerned with thetask at hand. Useful when businessneeds to be attended to.
Time-oriented: most concerned withefficiency.
Situational Listening
Informational listening:
Used when one wants to understandanother. The goal is to receive thesame thoughts the other person istrying to convey.
Informational Listening, cont.
1.Listen first
2.“Don’t kill the messenger”: separatethe message from the speaker
3.Look for big ideas and main points
4.Paraphrase: restate what the speakeris saying in one’s own words
5.Take notes
Critical Listening
Judging the quality of a message anddeciding to accept or reject it.
1. Listen for information first
2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source
3. Examine evidence and reasoning
4. Remove emotion
Empathetic Listening
Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)
Ignoring
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Attentive listening
Empathic listening: the first step inbeginning to understand someone
Empathetic Listening
The goal is to build a relationship orhelp solve a problem.
This style of listening has the mostrespect for the other’s point of view.
Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening:
1. Advising: offering suggestions
2. Judging: look for constructivejudgments
3. Analyzing: offers and interpretationsof the speakers message
Empathic Listening, cont.
4. Questioning: helps sort out problems
5. Supporting
6. Prompting: The goal is to help thespeaker draw conclusions forhim/herself
7. Paraphrasing: rewording